Through Much Tribulation

I haven't posted much during these past few weeks due to school, family matters, and unfortunately, internal conflicts that I've been having to face in my discovering Orthodoxy. In this post, I'd like to quickly share my thoughts of what has been generally going on.

Recently, my journey to Orthodoxy has been somewhat halted. A few certain people, a couple of family members, and one other person that I had considered to be a very close friend, have collided with my desire to learn about and my desire to share the richness of Orthodoxy, and have begun to project aversion towards me, and ultimately, Christian Orthodoxy. Their aversion is not so much directed towards me , but it is clear that they have an aversion towards Orthodoxy, and  it's enough to instill a sadness and confusion that leaves me to become silent and somewhat absent in spirit when in their presence.  

I had anticipated interest from these people. I had anticipated a participation with me in discovering Orthodoxy together as people who claim to love Truth. Unfortunately, instead I have encountered the opposite I had expected; disinterest, distrust, aversion, and even manipulation. And furthermore, I have recently encountered an insensitivity that has been projected by one of those certain people that I thought would take the time to understand me, and walk with me in searching the truth about Christianity. In addition to that, the possibility of losing this person has added weight to the discomforts of walking towards Orthodoxy.  

On a personal level, it is to my dismay that up to this point I have no one to share this burning desire in discovering Orthodoxy and her richness without feeling like an apostate. I have no one to talk to and share with excitement, conviction, and awe of the depth of Christian Orthodox mysticism, and the width of her theology.  It seems to me that loneliness is very becoming of me, and I am going to have to be willing to embrace it if I am to continue my walk on the path of the Way.   

In writing this, I am not trying to retrieve pity from readers or invoke an image of a frail person with no true will to persist in their journey to Orthodoxy, which is and will be a journey of hardships. Rather, I write this as an acknowledgment that what I am facing now are just small bumps on the dirt trail that I have barely just begun. And that it is nothing in comparison to what I will come to confront as I continue on. This is only the beginning, and I understand that I must prepare myself for such hardships and even harder ones. I have read the stories of many people who come from a similar Protestant background as I do experience similar tribulations, and many others face even worse of a fate in pursuing Orthodoxy.

May this serve as a reminder that through much tribulation we must enter the kingdom of heaven (Acts 14:22).