For over a year, I have halted from writing on this blog. But I have not stopped from studying about Orthodoxy. However, it has been a constant roller-coaster; some days I feel positive about what the Orthodox Church teaches; but other days, not so much.
Sometimes I find myself wondering, "what is the truth?" The Orthodox Church says one thing, but those from the Evangelical circles say another. Some stuff sometimes are proven, while others are often disproven. I find myself going in circles and sometimes I feel that I'd like to start all over so that I can examine more closely and understand better the history and theology from both sides. Because often I feel like my brain has become muck... and I comprehend nothing, which leads to constant frustration.
Is there a winning side? What if, instead of rivals, the West and East are really complements to each other? Could that be possible? I'd like to think that, but at the same time, I'm not sure if it is possible to reconcile.
When I first started looking into Orthodoxy, I remember this feeling of awe, this feeling of, "I have finally found what I have been looking for." I remember reading and thinking, "I recognize Christ here! He is here, I see Him in the lives of the Saints. I see Him in history of the Church, in the teachings of the Church. This is where I need to go to experience Christ!" And even after 2 years of just reading about Orthodoxy, I still feel that way.
However, the recurring issue is that I cannot defend my reason to wanting to go to the Orthodox Church. And it is frustrating. Frustrating because while I know that reason doesn't always go in hand with faith, there has to be good solid reasons for WHY I believe what I believe about the Christian faith. So far, I haven't been able to give good solid reasons, and in all honesty, I believe that I need to be as honest as possible if I am to continue on this exploration.
SO...
I will attempt again to make sense of why I even commenced Reverting the Reformation. What is the truth? Who has the truth? And is there a True Church founded by the Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God?
Kyrie Eleison.
